Bromosexuals

So me and the fam get back from watching the  fireworks and they want to recycle their empty water bottles. I had to inform them that they could not recycle their bottles because we live next to a bunch of bros who do not understand what the word recycle means. They put inappropriate items in our recycle bins.  We live in a duplex which is now a sausage fest full of bros so we are moving out in 3 weeks.  The bros have totally desecrated our recycle bins, they have put pillows and take out containers full of salad from a local eatery into our recycle bins, these things do not recycle. What in the blue hell are they thinking? You cannot recycle a pillow or a half eaten salad, are you people mad?

Here is a little background information on the “bros”. They like to park in the fire lane next to our house, you cannot legally park in a fire lane and cops go by and do not do anything. Me and the Swedish Falcon, my mother-in-law, believe that they are involved with the local police department in some way. They never get a ticket though my father-in-law, Professor S The Magnificent, got threatened by the police for parking in the same spot for 3 minutes to exterminate a bat from our old neighbors apartment.  If there is a fire we will all be burned beyond recognition because the bros block the fire lane daily even when there is a funeral going on next door.

They also leave trash all over our porch in which we share. Raccoons have gotten into the trash that they have left and spread it all over our porch along with their feces. There is still a toothbrush embedded in the cracks of the porch. They also had a congratulations graduate mug that they left sitting outside for weeks, I stole it and gave it away to a good friend of mine who hates buses and likes mugs. Take that bros.

Not only do they leave trash on the porch and throw non-recyclable items into our recycle bins they also stay up all night and have strange parties next door while blasting the song “Fireworks” by Katy Perry constantly in the middle of the night. I also hear the sound of wheels along the wooden floor while they play the song. I have no idea what they are doing in there, they may be part of a Satanic cult. What self respecting male homosapien  would listen to Katy Perry’s “Fireworks”  every night of the week.

Not only do they park in the fire lane right next to the sign that says in big red letters “No Parking Fire Lane” they have their “friends” come over and they park in the fire lane too and stay all night and take up the parking lot that is reserved for funerals. Then they go into the house and drink their beer and listen to their Katy Perry music with the bros who live next door and do whatever it is they do over there which is probably sexual in nature. I do not mind their sexual orientation I just do not like them because they are idiots.

5 comments on “Bromosexuals

  1. Toothbrush embedded in the cracks of the porch? The sound of wheels along the wooden floor? Kate Perry every night?

    There is more going on here than even I had suspected! Continue to keep us informed!

  2. Okay and they like have a branch apartment next to mine and the story continues. Sitting on my chair, you know the chair with the remote, ashtrays, room for food and see something whiz by my head just outside the window next to my chair and fall on the ground, from above like maybe the roof or whereever.Thinking it might be a large animal or a small biped I turn around in anticipation of injurious possibilities. Just clothes and someguy says, “Don’t worry I won’t break anything” and down to earth comes a 6 pack minus 2 and a few DVD’s. Well it was a love spat and someone was making a point. They made up later after a way too long talk on the backyard swing
    They are not as nasty on the south side as up your way when it comes to garbage, but I hear strange music and noises I swear could not have been made by human beings.

  3. I am the woman on the other side of the world, and have a documentary photo of the clothes strewing “Incident”. Should we forward this to you?

  4. I would hate to live next to this! I hate people who cannot recycle correctly. I should write them a letter describing what can properly be recycled… not that they would read it or care.

    …by the way, Swedish Falcon and Professor S The Magnificent… best names for my parents ever.

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