Crazy old people at the gym

Today I went to the gym with the Mrs., Swedish Falcon, and Professor S the Magnificent, and to my delight, I saw an elderly woman come in to work out. She was clad in a hot pink t-shirt, skin tight bicycle shorts, and anti embolism stockings that went up to her knees. She had a German accent and seemed completely confused as to why she was there. She kept asking the people that work there for assistance using the equipment and she still managed to use it incorrectly. I feel sorry for the people who work there, I used to do technical support, any time you have to teach old people new technology it is seriously one of the most frustrating things ever.

One of the employees spent a good 15 minutes with her teaching her how to use the TV that was on the exercise bike. He flipped through virtually every channel on the TV and asked her if that was the channel she wanted, finally she settled on Fox News Channel. I have the belief that Fox News Channel is brainwashing the elderly and feeble minded with their Republican and racist propaganda, but that is a whole other topic together, do not get me started. She then plugged her giant head phones from 1985 into the TV and started peddling the exercise bike without ever turning it on. She used the bike for at least 20 minutes and never noticed that it wasn’t on and she was just peddling it aimlessly.

There is another elderly gentleman who frequents the gym, he reminds me of Mr. Magoo. He comes in dressed in khakis and a flannel shirt, he looks like he is pushing 90 and I am always afraid he is going to break his hip. He moves very slowly and douses the machines in cleaner once he is done, he sprays it all over the entire treadmill even parts that he did not even touch.

Here is an artists rendition of him talking on his new-fangled cell phone.

Another gentleman comes in dressed in dockers dress pants and long sleeve dress shirts with loafers and walks very slowly on the treadmill, he goes at about .5 mph and I have no clue what benefit he gets from his gym membership.