Bathroom Etiquette Around The World

Believe it or not, using toilet paper is not common practice around the globe. Ever wonder what other cultures do to clean themselves after they make poo? You know you have. Also keep in mind that just because someone lives in the United States does not mean that they do not follow the bathroom customs of their particular culture. Be careful what you touch or eat/drink out of when you go to other people’s homes.

I am sure you have heard of bidets, they have been used in Europe and other countries for years. They shoot a stream of clean water into your butt and nether-regions. Many places use bidet/toilet combos. Some are even heated to dry you off afterwards. That actually sounds more sanitary sticking wadded up balls of paper in your cornhole.

Can also be used as a water fountain

Other cultures use a bowl and something that looks like a ladle and pour the water into their butt crack after they have a bowel movement. They also don’t sit on the toilet, they have squat toilets that are like holes in the ground you have to squat down to use.

If you are out of clean dishes you can also use it as a soup bowl

Other people just use a bowl and dump water down the small of their back and cleanse themselves that way.

Meanwhile there are others who take a bowl of water into the bathroom, fill it up with soap and water and use their bare hand to clean themselves. Yes, you heard that right, they stick their hand up in their and dig out the fecal remnants with their fingers.

You're eating out of the bowl I clean my ass with

In some areas it is customary to wipe yourself with leaves or stones. It would suck if you got poison ivy and I see no benefit of sticking rocks up your butt, that would just hurt.

Nature's toilet paper

Lastly, there are the futuristic toilets that have the 3 seashells. I still can’t figure out how those are supposed to work, and it really sucks since the only restaurants around are Taco Bell and it always gives me diarrhea.

Yes, I just made an obscure reference to a Stallone movie.

3 comments on “Bathroom Etiquette Around The World

  1. I think that looking after you wipe should become part of the American custom of using toilet paper. Too many non-lookers playing a dangerous, dangerous game.

  2. Not even exaggerating, I still occasionally wonder about the 3 shells too.

    Having been to Japan and India, I have tried a variety of these butt cleaning methods. I actually quite enjoyed using water to clean with, rather than smearing everything with paper and then only washing my hands.

    I am told squatting is anatomically a better position for evacuating ones bowels, but I would add that suddenly starting to do it as an adult is fairly tricky, and soiling your clothing makes this point irrelevant.

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