Nowadays people want to talk like there aren’t such thing as leprechauns, these people are what I like to call “naive”. Leprechauns are all over the place, they are a nuisance! There needs to be some kind of neighborhood watch program to get these freaky little creatures away from our homes and from eating our garbage. I swear the other day one of these little fuckers was hiding out in my dumpster, I freaked out and threw my garbage bag full of old porno and candy wrappers in that son of a bitch and ran away back to the safety of my apartment, on second thought that might have been a raccoon because Leprechauns usually aren’t furry rodents.
Probably not a leprechaun
OK that was a raccoon, but I have totally seen a leprechaun at the mall once and he was walking around Victoria’s Secret and I am pretty sure that he was stealing women’s underwear because that is something that those little freaks like to do. I caught one of them rummaging through my garbage once for a pair of my underwear that I threw out because it had a hole in it, and this time I know it wasn’t a raccoon because it had a giant head and was wearing a green leotard.
These leprechauns are a menace, for some reason they are always getting jobs in professional wrestling or starring in movies as Ewoks. This is not cool, America. They disrupt the fabric of society, and contrary to popular belief they don’t have pots of gold or grant wishes, however I have met some that will sell you pot for some gold jewelry. Do not be fooled, I once tried to make one of these little green douchebags who barely ever wear green BTW, to grant me a wish and he just called me a “biggot” and head butted me right in my man parts. That shit stung for hours. I hate them and their beady little eyes.
They also tend to dress in flamboyant outfits that are not green, odd
They freak me out with their thick little fingers and bodies that are way too small for their giant freak heads, half the time they don’t even have Irish accents, the little turds. That’s how they trick you. I saw the movie Leprechaun once and it gave me nightmares, not the Leprechaun, just Jennifer Aniston’s original nose. That thing was fucking huge.
Meh...I'd still hit it.
I saw another movie though, forget what it was called but female leprechauns are freaking hot. Plus they seem to like to do a lot of weird stuff in the bedroom, if you know what I mean.
I wish there were one of these under every rainbow
God Patrick…..you are f’ed up this evening.
Compared to…?
It’s a small world after all….it’s a small world after alll….