I went to a comedy show in downtown Cleveland with the Mrs. last night. We got a little lost and ended up in the ghetto somehow. We ended up driving passed some government subsidized housing which had wire fencing around it and looked like a Nazi concentration camp. Then our GPS took us through a bunch of random high class neighborhoods. We kept passing all these oddly painted fire hydrants and it made no goddamn sense whatsoever. It bothered me so much that I had to pull out my android phone and try to look up the meanings of fire hydrant colors. The explanations were confusing and left me even more confused, it didn’t help that I was a little drunk at the time.
Anyway, I looked up the meanings again because it has been bothering me all day. I am trying to make some sense out of them but haven’t been able to come up with consistent answers. Here is what I can comprehend so far:
A red fire hydrant is a class C hydrant and has a flow rate of under 500 gallons per minute.
A yellow fire hydrant is a class B hydrant and has a flow rate between 500 and 1,000 gallons per minute
A green fire hydrant is a class A hydrant and has a flow rate between 1,000 and 1,500 gallons per minute
A blue fire hydrant is a class AA hydrant and has a flow rate over 1,500 gallons per minute
Now this part makes sense, and is pretty easy to understand, but then it just goes batshit insane and incomprehensible from here. I tried to find out some more information because the hydrants I saw in Cleveland were silver so I thought that meant they were “baller” fire hydrants.
According to several websites I looked up, the caps on the fire hydrant’s color also means something.
A green cap means high pressure, a yellow cap means normal pressure, and red means that it must be pumped.
But wait there’s more: the body color of the hydrant also means something different. A white body means that it is a public system hydrant, a yellow body means that it is a private hydrant, a red body means that it is a special operation hydrant, and a violet body means that it is a non-potable supply. Apparently firemen need to take a class on color schemes to be able to properly identify what a hydrant means.
This makes no sense whatsoever because 90% of the hydrants I see around town are all painted red all over. And in fire hydrant terms: the red hydrants are the shittiest. But they are also the only one’s that are available in my neighborhood, so basically if there’s a fire in the area, my apartment is fucked.
This still doesn’t explain what a silver hydrant is nor does it explain why it really matters to color code hydrants when chances are there is only one type of hydrant available in the vicinity of the fire. So now I am looking up “silver fire hydrant” on Google.
The best answer I could come up with is that hydrant color goes by jurisdiction, which completely negates everything that I had just learned beforehand. They are supposedly color coded by whoever owns them, such as county, etc. This answer sounds like total bullshit because I was in Cleveland and in a several block radius there were silver, red, and yellow fire hydrants all over the place. Why would a bunch of fire hydrants in the same city in the same neighborhood be owned or used by different counties? That makes no sense whatsoever. I am pretty sure that people just paint the fucking things whatever color they feel like and there is no real rhyme or reason to it, this whole thing is just giving me a headache and I’m tired of trying to figure it out.