Today I came up with the best idea for a video game ever. My favorite musical instrument is the glockenspiel. I don’t actually like the way it sounds, I just like the name of it. Plus my alarm clock makes a sound that is supposed to be wind chimes but I am 99.9% sure that it is actually a glockenspiel. For those of you that don’t know what a glockenspiel is, it is basically a xylophone but it is typically made out of steel instead of wood, and it is German I think, it has a German name anyway.
After doing some research I found out that the rock band Rush uses the glockenspiel in some of their songs. I find this perplexing, they don’t have a full time glockenspiel player in their band?! Their drummer sometimes swaps out his drum set for the glockenspiel, cow bell, or a plethora of other obscure percussion instruments. I just don’t understand why they wouldn’t want to rock out on the glockenspiel on every one of their songs. Then I wondered if there are any Rush cover bands out their with their own glockenspiel players. I cannot imagine anything less likely to get you laid than being the glockenspiel player in a Rush cover band. You might as well not even have a penis attached to your body. Anyway, I think there is still some money to be made with this idea. Nobody plays Guitar Hero anymore, which isn’t surprising because you cannot keep making the same game over and over again without it getting boring, unless it involves shooting guns at people, that shit never gets old. But how could you possibly improve on Guitar Hero? DJ Hero was a bust. The answer is obvious: Glockenspiel Hero! You make a glockenspiel that plugs into your favorite gaming system and then rock out to some of your favorite glockenspiel tunes. Granted, the only famous band I know that uses one is Rush and I don’t even like them that much but a video game where you can live the dream of playing glockenspiel in a Rush cover band would be fucking amazing. If you are going to live alone with your cat and masturbate in the bathtub while using your own tears as lube, it might as well be done after just pretending that you are a glockenspiel player in a Rush cover band while being in the privacy of your own living room, instead of on stage in front of half a dozen people in a high school auditorium.