I was at World Market today, they sell various foods and products from around the world. I came across this Beef Jerky flavored candy bar there and had to try it out.
I normally like bacon flavored things so I figured this was going to be pretty good. It was OK, didn’t have as much beef jerky flavor as I expected it to, just kind of had a beef jerky after-taste and now all of my burps taste like beefy jerky and chocolate. This choice of snack probably explains my last visit to the dentist.
I went in for a cleaning, it took almost an hour, and after sitting in a chair and getting my gums and teeth scraped and poked at with sharp metal hooks until they bled everywhere, the dental hygienist gave me some terrible news: you may have to sit down before you read this, and if you are sitting I suggest you get up then sit back down before reading the next sentence…. I have the gum disease gingivitis. Oh my god, I never thought it could ever happen to me. I am only 31, in the prime of my life and now all of my hopes and dreams have been crushed. Gingivitis? Oh hell no! All of these years of not brushing my teeth or flossing has damned me. I don’t know what I am going to do, I don’t know how I am going to go on. This is worse than the time that my cat died, this is worse than being diagnosed with narcolepsy. This is the worst news that I have ever received. Not only do I HAVE to brush my teeth twice a day for the next 2 weeks, I also have to use Listerine mouthwash.Why did this have to happen to me?