Took The Dingleberry To The Vet and He Was Not Happy

The Dingleberry had to go to the vet for his yearly checkup. He had to get a bunch of shots and we also wanted to talk to the vet about his abnormal behavior. He likes to scratch at the nightstand next to the bed, but he only does it when both the Mrs. and I are in bed together. Even though he doesn’t have any claws he still bats at the metal handle and makes lots of noise. The only way to get him to stop is if I go into the living room and lay on the couch, then he lays on top of me and goes to sleep. In order to get him to the vet we had to put him in his cat carrier which he hates almost as much as he hates getting the rectal thermometer up his rectum. Fun fact: male cats have a barbed penis. Luckily the rectal thermometer isn’t barbed so it isn’t as painful as getting butt-raped by another male cat, The Dingleberry used to butt-rape his stepbrother all the time, it may or may not have aided in ┬áhis untimely demise.

Anyway, the mere sight of the cat carrier throws The Dingleberry into a rage and he scratched me with his still-existent back claws while I shoved him in the carrier against his will. He whines so much that we have to cover it with a blanket to keep him from screaming all the way to the vets office. It honestly sounds like we have a midget gimp in a little cage when we transport him places. Anyway once he got to the vet he was well behaved, the vet suggested spraying cat pheromones on things that he likes to attack in the middle of the night so that he will be calmer and possibly horny. Before bedtime he gets swaddled in a blanket covered in cat pheromones, it seems to calm him down because he hasn’t bothered us since trying it.

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Here he is behaving himself in the vets office. However once he got back in the cat carrier he started hissing at us and threatening to bite off our genitals.

2 comments on “Took The Dingleberry To The Vet and He Was Not Happy

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