I Don’t Get The Whole Steampunk Fetish Thing

There is something that I have never really quite understood, it is the whole steampunk fetish. It is basically taking modern technology and making it look like it was made in the 1800’s with bronze and leather and, of course, steam engines. The most popular thing I have ever seen it in was the movie Wild Wild West with Will Smith in it.

If you have never seen this movie, don't ever watch it, it's terrible. I don't care how low your Netflix Streaming Queue is.

 

Some steampunk stuff is actually kind of cool like Science Fiction looking weapons and stuff, but a lot of it involves weird gimp masks and pretending to be amputees.

This would be kind of cool if it were in a movie with a crazy mad scientist that is part cyborg, but this guy more than likely wears this thing when he masturbates and has gotten to the point where he can't masturbate without it.

 

A lot of steampunk role players wear these weird bird costumes that make them look like Chuck E Cheese's Pizza Time Theater characters from Hell.

Another creepy steampunk bird-man mask. I really don't understand what bronze beaks have to do with the 1800's or anything else for that matter.

 

A lot of steampunk costumes involve fake prosthetic limbs. I can spot at least 50 flaws in his design that would prevent it from ever working properly, can you spot them all? I have no idea what the girl on the right has to do with this picture but I was too lazy to crop her out.

Not sure if this is a cybernetic eye or if he has a flashlight jammed in his eye socket.

There is also a lot of steampunk art that really kind of confuses me as well…

Most steampunk art features women flying around in steam-powered airships while wearing tight fitting lingerie, they may or may not be missing limbs. Seriously what the fuck is up with all the prosthetic body parts?

Out of everything steampunk, steampunk Star Wars has to be my favorite. One day someone decided let’s take something that’s already extremely dorky and make it even dorkier, this person has also never touched a boob.

Although I have to admit some of this is kind of cool/hot

Someone even made their own line of steampunk Star Wars action figures. Once George Lucas finds out he is going to sue the maker, then a week later he will mass produce them.

 

A lot of the outfits are just kind of awkward looking. Is Boba Fett wearing a bra outside of his shirt? And is Darth Vader wearing a modified World War 2 Nazi helmet? Right..

For some reason I totally want this Storm Trooper mask no matter how dorky it is.

 

This steampunk Darth Vader just looks kind of anorexic and not at all intimidating. However, Darth Vader possesses all of the qualities steampunk enthusiasts love. He is a quadruple amputee, so he has 4 steam powered robotic limbs. Plus he is also a burn victim who has to wear a gas mask with hoses coming out of it.

The X-Men steampunk movement isn’t quite as strong though…

Plus this guy is probably only dressed up like a steampunk Professor X because he is really a paraplegic.

Steampunk Abe Lincoln with a mini-gun for an arm is totally badass though.