I Want A Spider-Man Face Tattoo

The other day the Mrs., Jam Master J, Bumblebee, and I went out to some Halloween stores.  A little back story: I love Halloween, and when I say I love Halloween I mean that I REALLY REALLY love Halloween. That is all the back story you need to know. OK, so Bumblebee and a friend of hers got some Halloween costumes, I didn’t buy anything because I didn’t have any money but I did see something that caught my eye. It was a Spider-Man mask face tattoo. It is kind of cool but kind of creepy and really stupid at the same time. It’s a temporary tattoo that covers your whole face, I can only imagine someone buying this then not being able to completely wash it off in the shower and having to go to work the next day with a fading Spider-Man face, it would really suck if you worked at a bank or something like that because you would probably get fired for being a dumbass.

The other day the Mrs. had a doctor’s appointment, I had to urinate because I had drank too many energy drinks. When I went into the bathroom I saw one of those giant plastic baby changing tables. It was a “Sturdy Station” brand but someone had taken a knife and cut out the S and the Y in sturdy, making it say “Turd Station” which seems like a more accurate name, after laughing uncontrollably for several seconds I got a picture of it. Behold it’s magnificence:

Today Swedish Falcon, Professor S the Magnificent, the Mrs., and I went out to do some shopping.  We went to a warehouse sale where everything was 70% off of it’s suggested retail price. I got a shirt that said “Anything you can do I can do better (Unless it involves Math)” and I got 2 books, one was titled “That’s what she said” and contains hundreds of instances where people used that phrase which is also a phrase which I use semi-daily. I also got a book that has pictures of stupid church signs from around the continental United States.

I also went to Five Below and got a phone charger and some t-shirts. My phone charger stopped working so I needed to get one, so I went to the place that sells them for the cheapest price possible. I got a shirt that says “That’s what she said” on it because as I mentioned before I use that phrase semi-daily, I was also wearing this shirt when I bought the “That’s what she said” book. I got another shirt as well, it said “I tried being good but then I got bored”. I am wearing that one to my parent’s house tomorrow. Everyone keeps saying that it was the perfect shirt for me but I do not understand why because I am a perfect little angel, and Swedish Falcon will back me up on this.

In other news I am getting a laptop from Professor S tomorrow, YAY! Now no more competing with the Mrs. for computer usage.

Denim, graphic tees, leggings, and tunics

I hate Smuckers commercials, actually I hate all commercials but some commercials I hate more than others. That is why I love DVR, but I wish you could fast forward passed them on live TV. Smuckers commercials are so annoying, they always have these annoying effeminate kids talking about jam and stuff like how awesome their Grandpa Smucker was. Even though Grandpa Smucker stabbed a prostitute and died of AIDS. I have no evidence to back those statements up. Here’s one of their most annoying commercials that airs just about every day:

Yesterday I caught Mr. Rowan Fitzgerald, aka the dingleberry, hiding underneath my buffet table. This buffet table is extremely low to the ground and I am not sure how he even managed to fit underneath it, he is like freaking Harry Houdini except a cat instead of a human magician and escape artist. He could barely get out from underneath the buffet table, he struggled and eventually army crawled out from underneath of it. He also got in the bathtub again, I don’t know why he does that. Sometimes I like to pretend the bathtub is a time machine and I am going back in time while taking a bath, although it would be kind of awkward if it really was a time machine because I would be naked.

I have to go back to work tomorrow after being off for eleven days then I probably won’t have another vacation for another year even though I only used 40 of my 150 hours. I feel like taking another vacation but I need money to support my cat.

Another annoying commercial has been brought to my attention, it is a Target commercial with some D-bag teacher singing about denim graphic tees, leggings, and tunics and denim, and hair gel, and denim, did I mention denim?

The cat just fell behind the couch and he is so stupid that he tried to climb back behind it.