Cats Have Mental Problems And Need To Be Locked Up In Padded Cells

The other day I put up the Christmas tree and the dingleberry has been busy molesting it ever since. He spends 85% of his day hanging around the tree and laying underneath it pretending to sleep with his eyes open. He also keeps licking the tree and trying to eat the branches, it is a fake tree so it has no nutritional value. He also keeps knocking the lights off of it and trying to eat them.

This cat is so stupid that he rubs his face on surge protectors and rolls around electrical cords all the time. I have even caught him chewing on electrical cords on more than one occasion. I told him that it is dangerous and that he is going to get electrocuted, I have even showed him the little sticker on the cord that says how dangerous it is to eat it. He tried to eat the sticker, it’s like he can’t even read.

Later today Rowan (thedingleberry) Fitzgerald was rubbing his face on the carpet and rolling around. Plus he was licking his feet and trying to bend his neck down to lick  his stomach which he failed at doing. Then he rolled around on the floor some more with a glazed over look in his eyes. Then he started licking his crotch and I noticed that he had a visible erection, which I didn’t even know was possible because he is neutered. The creepiest part was that I was in the bathtub taking a bath while he was doing this. I feel violated.

Anyway, here is a picture of the two of us in front of the Christmas tree that he likes to chew on. Yes my Santa Claus hat has my name embroidered on it, my mom gave it to me so shut up.

Yes, his eyes always glow like that, that is not from the flash

 

Now for a random cat picture…

Stupid cat, that isn't how you talk on a phone!