Awkward Boners

Every man has had this problem at one time or another, of couse I am talking about the awkward boner. You know what I’m talking about, sometimes you will have yourself a “man reaction” at anĀ inopportuneĀ time. Here are some of the worst times to get a boner.

Getting a random boner at your sons soccer game. Actually if you get one at a tween boys’ soccer game you are one sick freak. Unless there are some soccer MILFS around, then it’s understandable

When ogling girls in bikinis. If you are at the pool and standing around fully clothed with a full on chub you should probably leave the premises immediately. Otherwise just stand around with your arms folded across your chest with your boner still fully visible like the guy below:

Real slick dude, now nobody can see that you have a massive hard on.

While standing around checking out another guy’s butt

Really, I have no explanation for this one, that is just creepy.

While shooting a movie. I don’t care how sexy Gene Hackman is, if you are playing Superman you should not be semi erect. Those tights conceal nothing. At least that was back when Christopher Reeve could get a boner before he fell off of a horse and became dead from the neck down or now that he’s just plain dead. What? Too soon?

When you are dressed up like a Ghost Buster and hanging out with Mr. T and Tom Cruise from Top Gun. Nice spray tan, or is that black face? Either way don’t cross the streams!

When you’re a Power Ranger. Check out the unit on the yellow ranger, wait wasn’t the yellow ranger an Asian chick? Awkward…. Must be her stunt double or else she was really a dude. Oh God, I used to have a crush on her too. Unclean! Unclean!

During a comic book convention while dressed up as an obscure Spider-Man character from an alternate universe

First of all, why would anyone dress up like the Scarlet Spider and not Spider-Man. I feel enough like a dork for even knowing who the Scarlet Spider is. The female Deadpool does have a pretty nice rack though.